One of those days….

Have you ever read the book, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day? It is a cute little book.
ALEXANDER_TERRIBLE_HORRIBLE
This boy named Alexander wakes up to find out he fell asleep with gum in his mouth and now it is in his hair. Then he drops his sweater in the sink and they run out of the cereal he wants. He says throughout the book that it is going to be a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. He even goes as far as to say, “Maybe I’ll move to Australia.”
Well here is my day so far and it isn’t even 8 am yet. I didn’t get to sleep until 1:45ish this morning. My youngest wasn’t falling asleep. OK, not that he wasn’t falling asleep. He wasn’t falling into a deep sleep. He kept waking up. Then I was rocking him for about 2 hours, before he was really asleep. Then I got a text at 6:20 from my friend. My alarm had 10 more minutes. Just 10 more minutes. Sigh. Next, I go to make my coffee and end up spilling it. I should mention that when I got up at 6:30, my youngest was awake and in my living room. After the coffee incident, I sat down and turned on Mickey Mouse, but this little boy wanted to look out the window as the school bus goes past.
053014070705301407080530140707a
So he watches the bus pass and Charlotte wakes up. She asks to play on her Innotab. (It was a birthday present from her dad. She loves it!) As she sits playing on that, Robert decides he needs to play with something as well. He goes and gets out the Leap Frog TAG reading thing. He doesn’t have the slightest idea how that thing works. Which makes it extremely annoying. He just hits the pencil thing on the book, over and over and over and over.
05301407440530140744a0530140743a
Here she is, nicely playing on her Innotab. Then we have him, smiling innocently, like he isn’t doing anything.
Sigh. I need a nap.

Depression.

Depression is real and very serious. It can hit you when you least expect it. It takes away the things you enjoy. It makes you want to do nothing. It can keep you from living. There are some people who say that depression is all in your head. They think you can just decide to be happy and it will happen. I wish that was how it worked.
193deb55e36f93ca6f533f79dc5460fc
I have battled depression for almost 10 years. I have had my up and my downs. During the past few days, I am down. Unless you have been there before you can’t imagine how it is. Feeling as though you don’t know how to be happy. As though your mind has lost the ability to feel joy. Just wanting to sleep all day, but knowing you can’t. Not being able to enjoy watching your favorite TV show or read a book. You just don’t want to.
e84880269e39d4d6aa6c12498742a193
It can be hard to hide your depression. You can try to be happy. Sometimes you can be convincing, but usually you aren’t. Sometimes. you even start thinking that people would be happier if you weren’t in their lives.
329cfdc0e97d766f14968eca24b6bec0
If you ever feel like you are depressed, call your doctor. Make an appointment. Get the help you need.
Or if someone you know is showing signs of depression, encourage them to seek help.

Chocolate.

I’m not a chocolate person. It’s not that I don’t like it. Just that I can only eat little bits. Something about the flavor doesn’t appeal to me as it does to others. Does that make me weird? Probably. Want to know what makes me weirder? I LOVE brownies.
raspberry_swirl_brownie_ice_cream-5
(This is my random thought for the day.)

It’s Your Love.

It’s your love
It just does somethin’ to me
It sends a shock right through me
I can’t get enough
And if you wonder
About the spell I’m under
It’s your love

I woke up feeling excited, anxious, happy and a little scared. I was getting married. This was my second chance. This time was going to be better. I had found someone who would do anything to make me happy. Who loved every part of me. Even the “pilot” part. Everything in life seemed to be falling into place.
A lot of that morning is a little bit of a blur. I remember getting up, drinking coffee, taking a bath, putting on make-up, then I started doing my hair. I was lucky enough to have my best friend show up at that point to help. I was feeling on top of the world. Not even my soon-to-be husbands ex wife being there could upset me. Because I was getting married.
I got my dress on, put my shoes on and my veil. I didn’t have to go very far. We didn’t have money for a big wedding, so we got married in our backyard. My father married us, so my mother walked me out. As the bridesmaids walked out the back door, they started playing “It’s Your Love” by Tim McGraw and Faith Hill.
As I walked out, my heart started beating really fast. It was happening. This was the beginning of the the rest of our lives. A few more steps and a few more words and we would be together. Forever.
Image

Potty training.

People like to say that when it comes to potty training, one gender is easier. Though from my personal experience, both can be equally difficult or equally easy. It all depends on the child. Some children catch on right away. Others take a few months. Then there are those children who do it for a few weeks and then decide it isn’t fun anymore, so they stop. Or they only do one in the potty and the other in their underwear. I was lucky enough to have children in all of those categories.

My oldest took forever to potty train. She started at 18 months, was doing amazing, using the potty for about 2 months, then decided she had had enough. Again when she was 2.5 years old, she went good for a month or so, then was back in diapers again. Finally, I got few up. 2 months after her 3rd birthday, I told her I’m not buying anymore diapers. She went the next 6 months peeing in her underwear, but eventually she got it.

My 2nd child was the easiest to potty train. I put her in underwear, she had maybe 2 accidents and was good to go.

My 3rd child was pretty good about using the potty. Except when it came to going poop. He wouldn’t use the potty to poop. Then one day when we were out shopping, he went to use the bathroom at Wal-Mart. It was one of those automatic flushing toilets. He moved the slightest bit while he was sitting on it and it flushed. He jumped off so fast, I’m surprised he didn’t get pee everywhere. It took months to get him to use the bathroom in public. (Whether it was an automatic flushing or not.) But eventually, he got over his fear and was good.

My 4th child was pretty easy. I put her in underwear and after about 2-3 months, she was fully potty trained.

Now my 5th child is a different story. He was using the potty and wearing underwear. Still having trouble going poo in the potty and not his underwear. Then after a few weeks he stopped peeing in the potty. Now he refuses to use it all together. He is in pull ups. I don’t want him to think I’m pushing him, but I told my mom that once he turns 3, that’s it. I’m done with pull ups and diapers. He will use the potty.

image

Family.

Family is one of the most important things in my life. I honestly don’t think I would survive if I didn’t have them in my life. I am blessed to have such a wonderful family. I come from a home where I have both my parents. (Which is a rare thing nowadays.) I am the youngest of 4 children. I have 1 sister and (fraternal) twin brothers. I am close to all of my family. My mom is one of my best friends.
33655_445181336858_2844892_n
(This is an old picture of me and my mom, but all I could find.)
They have always been there for me. Through everything. Getting married. Having children. Getting divorced. Getting married again. I’m so lucky to have them. They support me no matter what. (Even if they think my decision is stupid.)
432087_10150576417136859_1167332760_n
This is a picture from my wedding 2 years ago. This has my parents, brothers, sister, brother-in-law, nieces, children, step-daughters and my husband. (And my brother’s ex-girlfriend.) This is my family. I love knowing that they will always be here when I need them. Just like I am here for them. 🙂
I also have the family I married in to. I have 4 brother-in-laws and a sister-in-law, plus all the wives and children. I have an amazing mother-in-law. She loves me like I am her own daughter and has become one of my closest friends.
1422582_10152407086879201_1853291341144426734_n
(This is my wonderful MIL.)
Sometimes, I forget how truly blessed I am. Usually all it takes for me to remember is to look at my children and realize that I am one lucky person. I have 5 beautiful children that I grew inside of me and gave life to. I have a wonderful husband who would do anything to make me happy. Plus I have an amazing family and extended family. Even with the little things that go wrong, I just need to remember how loved I am and that should help get me through.
1456670_723698484321703_426701094_n
(This is from Christmas 2013. All 8 of my kiddos. 5 that are mine and 3 step-daughters. 🙂 )

Being Mommy.

“Mommy! Mommy look! Watch this Mommy!” Those are words I hear all the time. Usually from my youngest. Whether he is pushing a car around on the diningroom floor or making himself fall off the couch, he wants me to see. Sometimes he wants Daddy or Grandma to watch. Occasionally even a sibling, but most of the time he wants me. Some people may wonder why. (Though anyone who has kids knows the answer.) Because I am Mommy. I am with him all day as his own personal audience. I’m here to say, “Yay! Good job!” When he does something good. I love being a stay at home Mom. As soon as I found out I was to become a Mommy, I told my hubby that I wanted to stay home with the kids. To be here for everything. First step, first word, first need of an attitude adjustment, first time opening fruit treats without help, etc. I wanted to be here for it all. And I have been.

image

I have also been here for the times when a child decided to take of their diaper and get poop everywhere. (And I mean EVERYWHERE.) Or when a child decides to dance around the kitchen saying, “Haha. Mama, you’re fat.” I’m here for the good and the bad. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.